COVID Chronicles: Isolation Day 4

It worked! I can’t believe it! I actually sleep until 5:30. Nowhere near my alarm, but I’ll take it. 

I am elated to wake up to the news that my PCR test results are negative for COVID-19. Brilliant! One milestone to freedom met.

[Insert morning routine here, you get the gist by now]

Fly in the ointment. Go to book in my exercise time for the following day, and the army officer on the desk throws down the gauntlet: My normal time is unavailable. I wouldn’t have said I’m a stickler for routine, but this one seems to be working and with the lack of other things to cling to, routine feels like all I have! She informs me I can go earlier or later, but not the same time. The new sessions are only 30 mins instead of 40. “The hotel is full, and people are missing out, so we’re just trying to make sure everyone gets a turn.” 

Seems fair, but hopefully this will not disrupt my precarious house-of-cards like existence. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Fine. We can change things. I’m flexible, a go with the flow kinda gal. It’ll be graaaand. 

I call Jared and read from this lovely new book, the size of a small building, and he falls asleep. It is so bloody cute, I nearly burst. I ignore the menacing Jerkbrain voice in my head that tells me I’m training him to go to sleep to the sound of my voice and eventually, when I’m telling him about my day, he’s just going to start conking out. It is only cute. Nothing else, Jerkbrain.

With breakfast, arrived an invitation to participate in an online quiz! How exciting! I set a timer for midday when entries open.

About half an hour later, my friend Claire calls from Canberra, and we catch up on life and everything for about 3 hours, and I get to talk to her lovely daughter who I haven’t really seen since she was 3. She is now a sassy 10 year old and she tells me what’s what, and introduces me to their new pup, Barry the blue heeler and shows me how he can jump on the tramp. The reminder for the quiz goes off mid-conversation, but Claire is much more interesting and important.

I imagine doing lockdown without the wonders of the internet and shudder. Completely understand how Isaac Newton managed to invent calculus in 1665 during the Great Plague of London. ‘I’ve already done everything I can do with numbers… what about if I start adding *imaginary* numbers’ If I simply put these numbers with these letters….   Voila! I can’t wait to see what great inventions (other than 233 new vaccines) come out of this pandemic. Hopefully, the new inventions will not be as challenging as calculus!

I have just enough time in between calls to get mad at the constant racket from the construction site across the road, and then Rachel calls again. Rachel is also a teacher and so is lounging at home enjoying her holidays as she ratchets up her own gardening business on their lifestyle block. We have a virtual wine together and a quick chat as she needs to go and pack – coming up to Auckland tomorrow to see her mum. 

I didn’t think I’d see the day, but I’m actually talked out. All this doing nothing and lounging about talking to my friends has been excellent, but exhausting. Good problem to have, obviously, but I just need to vegetate in front of the TV. How come Inner Administrator only lets me do that once it’s well past the time that it was needed, and it could very well result in me snapping someone’s head off? This might prove to be a problem in the coming days.

Jared messages me about 8pm – he’s slept the whole night through as well. As cute as this star crossed lovers thing is, the whole not sleeping because you can’t sleep without your love next to you is starting to be a bit of a drag. It’s good to be able to be independent of your partner sometimes, right? A bit of distance can be healthy. I’m not jeopardising my marriage by ostensibly leaving my husband for a third of a year so I can go and have summer in NZ and party with all our friends without him… this is fiiiiiiiine. We’re fine. It’ll be fine. It was his idea. We’ll be grand… Right? Loads of happily married people spend time apart and ultimately appreciate their spouse more because of it. 

Not that I neeeeeed to justify leaving my hubby behind to anyone else, but just in case you were wondering there were a number of reasons I chose to come home now:

1. I lost my job nannying for a family in September
2. I have since been sub teaching, but at loads of different schools, usually for teachers that are out with Covid or who are a close contact, which is just a little bit close to the frontline for comfort
3. I have asthma, so if I catch Covid, it could be a big deal
4. If schools closed, I’d be out of work. Schools have been closed since Christmas.
5. Homesick, not gonna lie – we’ve been gone for 2 years on Jan 25 and I miss my mummy.
6. My Nana is turning 90 in March and she sent me the sweetest letter in August implying she’d really like it if I could come back for her party
7. I also have a cousin who is getting married in Sydney in April, so figured I could stop through there on the way back. #fyeatravelbubbles
8. We’ve spent all year sitting around in Ireland with nowhere to spend our money, so… just cos I could?
9. I’m hoping to apply for an EU passport so that when (if?) we finally get to swan about Europe like culture vultures, then I can skip the passport queue and breeze through with Jared. In order to do that, I have to prove that I was in Ireland for 365 consecutive days before application. We’ve already been in Ireland for that long consecutively, but I’ll have to do it again between April 2021-April 2022, and the thought of three full years being in Ireland without any escape was just a bit too much to bear, so hoping this will get the travel bug outta my system, so I can stay put upon my return.
10. Summer in NZ!
11. Escape from winter in Ireland cos I was sick as a dog all of December/January last year, and let’s be real, it’s not like they have real summer in Ireland – it only really graduates to ‘less cold’.
12. As soon as Ireland went into lockdown in Oct, they were already talking about lockdown in Jan, and I actually just couldn’t cope with any more of that, if there was an opportunity for escape.
13. It was actually Jared’s idea, not mine, I’d just like to state for the record books.

Jared chose not to come because:

1. He is quite happy in Ireland.
2. He’s just started a new job, as he also lost his job in September, so still in probationary period
3. He is living in introvert heaven over there
4. He is unphased by things such as ‘lockdowns’ and ‘homesickness’
5. “Lauren, if you make me come back to NZ now, we will not be moving overseas again.” Well, we can’t be having that. I have plans of teaching English in Thailand, and also of going to work *somewhere* in Africa for an NGO at some point then going to one of the Pacific Islands like New Caledonia and starting a B&B, and generally living the dream (before sea levels rise and they’re lost :’( ). Also Europe: I’m not even slightly done with you just yet. 
6. ‘I have so many video games to play that have been waiting ages for me to give them some love and attention, but I’ve been giving it all to you, Lauren’.

We have had many discussions since we met in 2015 about the importance of not putting too many of your expectations, needs and wants on your life partner. I think over the 20th century relationships morphed into such a humongous role. A spouse never used to be responsible for your entire happiness and life fulfilment – it was closer to a business arrangement. I’ll look after you if you do life with me and make the babies.

Now we expect so very much from our SOs, and I think it’s just a little bit unrealistic. A spouse is supposed to be your soulmate, your social network, your emotional support, your financial equal, your co-parent, your family, your sexual fantasy fulfilled, your adventure buddy, your confidante, your best friend, and so much more. Which is great, if that’s true, but that’s a lot of pressure to put on someone. A lot of eggs in one basket. 

It’s not really sustainable for one person to match you in every way or always want to hang out with you or be able to read your mind and preempt your every desire. We’re designed for community, not just being one half of a conjoined couplet. 

Now that we’ve squashed the idea of your soulmate fulfilling every need or desire you might ever have, we can get on with the business of just enjoying each other and working towards a mutual fulfilling of goals and dreams, forever encouraging each other to be even more awesome. 

Where partners have vastly different needs, there should be space within a relationship to be able to say, ‘Hey, I need this thing.’ Not in a selfish way, just acknowledging that you are different people with different needs. A loving partner, where possible would accommodate that, surely? 

I count myself very blessed to have found such a partner. 

All the same, I’m thoroughly enjoying starfishing on the ENTIRE king bed.